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Using Pitch and Framing to Move Rivalrous Persons to Win-Win

That’s a mouthful, isn’t it?

Let’s break it down so you know what you’re getting into.

This is the process by which you can enter into a competitive win-lose interaction and shift the tables towards a powerful win-win experience.

In the old-paradigm world of selling there are some tools that we are going to re-purpose. These are pitching and framing.

  • Pitching: Convincing another person to see the scenario your way and agree to your terms of sale or action.
  • Framing: Setting the area of focus and expectations for the conversation.
  • Win-Win: Both parties get something they want.
  • Leader: The individual trying to create a win-win.
  • Rival: The individual that begins by following old-paradigm competition mindsets.
  • In Frame: This is when dominance is substituted for collaboration within the context of the frame.

Alright, now we’ve sorted the terms. Let’s get into the process.

  1. First, as the Leader you will need to play a bit of the old game and dominate the conflict.
    • This will feel pushy at first, but remember your objective: to create a win-win.
  2. You’re going to “dominate the conflict” by presenting a frame that is Win-Win.
    • Generally speaking, someone in a rivalrous mindset will push back on this, feeling threatened by “your idea” versus “theirs”.
  3. With patience and a calm demeanor, maintain pressure towards the win-win frame.
  4. Continue to do this until the Rival submits to this frame.
    • This will be apparent when you notice them asking questions, making statements that assume the frame is true, and trying to negotiate within the parameters that the frame sets.
  5. Once the rival has submitted to the frame, you must, as Leader, immediately drops any pressure of dominance and steps into the frame with the rival.
    • In traditional pitching and framing, the Leader would never do this because it risks losing control, and therefore “losing the sale”.
    • As a Leader of Win-Win dynamics, you must step into the frame with them to negate feelings of competition and maintain the win-win outcome as the priority.
  6. From within the newly placed win-win frame you will holds space and empathy for the Rival as they integrate their experience.
    • It is natural that a Rival experiencing this sort of submission to a frame they did not suggest to feel uneasy, and off balance.
    • As they come to terms within the win-win frame they will be sensitive to feeling manipulated, but as you patiently stand in the frame with them, this will fade.
  7. If the Rival tries to step out of the frame and return to competitive dynamics, as the Leader you will follow them out to the “negotiation table” and again assert dominance pressure by re-affirming the win-win frame as the only option.
    • You may go through this process a number of times.
    • The stronger the Rival and especially the more training they have in old-paradigm manipulation tactics, the more they will resist.
  8. Again, the Rival will step into the win-win frame, and you will repeat the process of going in with them to discuss plans and hold empathy.
  9. Once the rival softens and agrees, you will express any empathetic, emotional, or heartfelt sentiments you hold.
    • Do this honestly. Share what is real. Allow your heart to express to the Rival-now-ally.
  10. Once everyone feels cared for and has expressed their sentiments, affirm the stated win-win objectives, and closing the conversation.

You have just successfully acted as Leader for a transition into Win-Win dynamics.

Onwards and Upwards!

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