When I’m left to my own devices, I don’t need much.
Maybe that’s because I’ve been fortunate to have and experience such an amazing array of things in my life. Maybe I’ve always just had simple taste, like when I was a kid.
But when all of the pomp and circumstance is gone I want to hear the breeze move through tall grass while small birds flit quietly on the leaves and the clouds drift to create shade and shadows.
I want to sit so deep in the wild that my human essence is viscerally evident against a backdrop of primal life, and it feels sacreligious to leave my cell phone turned on.
I want to go to interesting places and try local foods amongst cultures that don’t expect anything of me except for respect and politeness.
I want to read thought-provoking books.
I want to cuddle my hearthmate by the fire.
I want to feel myself settle into calm from deepest to furthest aspects.
Intrinsic motivation is a notion of doing what is entirely outside obligation or expectation simply because you desire to. Because you’re driven to. Your Dharma is the thing in this world you came here to do.
Either can change over time but they sit upon a single principle: what calls most to your soul when the rest fades away?
For me, I want to live comfortably, love excellently, and explore unapologetically. There is always something more to know of the world, if we are willing to witness.
There’s a way that water moves in small lakes without boats to stir it’s surface. Ducks act differently when they aren’t being inundated with human influence and observation. The trees sway in a nearly imperceptible way that you can only see if you lay very still.
I love to write the words that flow.
I love to create artful Totemic work.
I love to have powerful conversations.
I love to see people light up with awareness.
I love to sit in saunas with snow falling outside.
I’m not here to have five cars and three houses, nor am I here to hit some sort of epic market quota. I don’t need my service to aid millions; as many as it will is enough. I’m not here to sit in an office or do production work, same day in and day out. I’m not here to be a socialite and play games at politics. I’m not here to impress anyone.
I’m here to be me.
I’m here to settle in and feel peace. I’m here to help others in their way and set them free from distraction, instability, uncertainty… I’m here to elevate the successful to greater degrees of integrity and integration, ease and connection. I’m here to make art, and to weave mysteries. I’m here to create anchors of the most desired notions in a physical world begging for balance.
Some days and weeks are harder.
The dollars flow slowly, the drama increases, my body hurts in some form or another. I become disheartened. I question my efforts. I long for the peace of solitude.
But it’s not often. And I come back around.
Not because I have to but because I want to. Because another one of my intrinsic motivations is to keep going. Press on while this physicality lasts. See how far the entity known as Kedrik can go. Create more. See further. Love deeper.
So here’s to the days when the bustle of thoughts drowns out the quiet patter of a sparse rainfall. And here’s to the days when bedtime comes early for lack of energy and focus. And here’s to the days when the intrinsic feels so far away.
Your sweet polarity is cherished.
You remind me what I live for.
You set my determination.
And here’s to all of the many other days,
Where our souls feel at one with the path.
May your intrinsic motivations be evident.
May your Dharma speak to you loudly.
May your soul be at peace here.
And may all other notions you long for, as well as my own, become manifest.
For this is why we’re here, isn’t it?
To be and become what we will.